Your Pet Is Going To Love Halloween This Year

If you love pets and licensed slasher movie products, it’s going to be a GREAT autumn.

New Slasher Themed Pet Products Are Already On Sale!

When I think “pet stores,” I don’t normally think “a whole bunch of slasher themed novelty Halloween products.” But apparently, I was wrong with a capital W. 

It’s not even August yet but my local pet supply emporium already has a treasure trove of iconic horror tie-in products on sale. Frankenstein branded pet products, Child’s Play branded pet products, Gremlins branded pet products, Scream branded pet products … like, I didn’t know if I was in a PetSmart or a freakin’ Days of the Dead convention or something. And like I even need to tell you this, but that’s totally awesome. 

There’s a lot of new seasonal stuff to parse out, but I think I’ll just touch upon the four licensed goods I saw on my latest trip that tickled my fancy the most. And you better believe the next time I need to restock on kibble, I am so getting my Maltese fitted for one of those Chucky costumes …

Friday The 13th Cat Toy (With Catnip!)

This thing is just amazing on a million different levels. Like, if you would’ve told me ten years ago that I’d be able to waltz into a pet store in the Deep South and find kitty toys shaped like bloody hatchets — with an official Jason Voorhees endorsement, no less — I would’ve called you a madman. Yet here we are, and it totally exists. Oh, and it’s even better because cat nip is basically the same thing as marijuana for felines. And we all know what happens to Crystal lake visitors with a fondness for the ganja, don’t we?

Friday The 13th Dog Toy (With Squeaker!)

Well, if you’re going to make Jason Voorhees toys for kitty cats, I guess you have to make them for puppy dogs, too. I guess there’s not too much to say about this particular toy, other than the fact that the craftsmanship on the hockey mask is just marvelous. Like, that is a downright beautiful recreation of the iconic Jason mask and the squeak it produces is just the cherry atop the proverbial sundae here. Too bad it doesn’t have a specialized acoustics feature that mimics the Harry Manfredini score, though — tch tch tch, woof woof woof!

Friday The 13th “I Slay” Pet T-Shirt!

Yes, this is turning into a very F13-centric listicle, but come on, this thing is AMAZING. First of all, it’s the kind of thing you could put on just about any relatively small critter, be it a cat, a dog, or a short spine raccoon. It’s such an odd phrase to use with the Jason iconography, too — I mean, he’s never said a single word across 12 official movies, and here he is sounding like a 2015 IG influencer. Probably the coolest thing about the shirt, though, is its color scheme. With that snazzy red and green combination, not only is totally reusable come Christmas time, it even feels like it’s slightly Elm Street coded!

Halloween II Dog Toy!

OK, so we finally throw a non-Friday the 13th item into the mix. And it’s a good one, alright — a squeaky, bloody-eyed facsimile of Michael Myers, complete with disturbingly realistic wig hair! Of course, the really noteworthy thing here is that it’s explicitly tied to Halloween II and not any of the other Halloween movies (which is something I’ve seen a lot of in tie-in Michael Myers products — maybe there’s some sort of special licensing agreement going on with Universal, I guess?) Regardless, it’s probably the most adorable version of The Shape to ever hit store shelves … even if the character in question canonically *is* a dog eater (just don’t tell your pooch that, OK?)