JD Vance Not Having Sex With A Couch

Alrighty: If you didn’t know, JD Vance is the author of his 2016 memoir Hillbilly Elegy, a book that details his upbringing in Middletown, Ohio. And earlier this week, wild rumors began circulating online, suggesting there is a passage in the book where Vance describes a moment in his younger years when he simulated sex with a couch by anchoring a rubber glove between two cushions.

To be clear, The Cut and several other outlets have combed through Hillbilly Elligy‘s pages and found no evidence that such a passage exists, but this did not stop the internet from running with the joke.