Pinocchio Unstrung Aims Low – Wicked Horror

It’s Pinocchio like you’ve never seen him before. Well, not really.

Pinocchio Unstrung is another entry in the infamous “Twisted Childhood Universe” sure to divide fans

Pinocchio Unstrung is the latest installment in what’s been dubbed the “Twisted Childhood Universe.” It comes to us from the same director who helmed Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey parts one *and* two so you already know precisely what to expect here. 

The idea of turning Pinocchio into a horror movie is hardly a new concept. Silent Night Deadly Night Part 5, Pin, Pinocchio’s Revenge … we’ve definitely been down this road before. What Unstrung does differently, however, is taking full advantage of the established lore (if not exploiting it wholeheartedly) for maximum ick. Like the famed fairy tale, Unstrung is about a wooden puppet who desperately, direly wants to become a real boy. The variable here, of course, is that he’s more than willing to “become” a real boy by murdering people and stealing their body parts to wear as his own. 

Told you it was exploitative, didn’t I?

There’s some attempt to mirror the actual folk tale early one but by the 20-minute mark of Unstrung the story goes totally off the rails. The first major gore scene sees the titular puppet venturing into a gym and accidentally setting off a Final Destination-like chain of events that results in multiple compound fractures and two people having their skulls smashed in with weights. It’s a pretty good indicator of how the rest of the movie plays out — the gore effects are paramount, everything else is secondary, if not totally optional.

You see, this Pinocchio isn’t entirely evil, just easily swayed by people (or, more accurately, stop-motion monsters) who don’t have his best interests at heart. For example, he runs into this weird looking beast called the “wood mother” who commands him to start yanking internal organs out of people so he can breathe and pump blood just like a “real” person. You really don’t need me to tell you how the rest of this movie plays out, do you?

One thing’s for sure, it’s a practical effects bonanza. I’m sure there’s some obvious CGI in there (hey, it is the golden era of filmmaker using generative AI in their movies and then lying about it, isn’t it?) but most of the puppet and gore effects appear to be live, on-set and in-real time. It’s not the most convincing special effects work you’ve ever seen, but it looks fairly respectable most of the time. And if absolutely nothing else, the blood and guts here is just ghoulishly grandiloquent. Just wait until the scene where Pinocchio goes psycho at a house party and start scalping cheerleaders and using his nose as an impaling device on everybody — it’s unironically gruesome stuff.

Of course, the highlight of the film — if the not the sole reason to bother with it in the first place – is because of Robert Englund. The horror legend provides the voice of Jiminy Cricket (although he’s never called that in the movie — I think Disney still holds the trademark on the “Jiminy” part) who, in keeping with TCU tradition, is an absolute sociopath who gets to drop more than a few lines that sound like carryovers from a never-recorded Freddy Krueger VO session. It’s definitely a hoot hearing Rob ham it up for the microphone and it keeps you invested in a movie that otherwise would’ve lost your attention much earlier. It’s not a terribly memorable movie, but it’s definitely a memorable performance from Englund. 

As for the movie’s downsides, well, we could be here a while.

The rest of the ensemble cast is flavorless and since everybody talks with a thick, Dickensian British thespian accent it’s kinda hard to keep track of who’s who sometimes. The music is quite bland and the ending is a total bore. There’s certainly a palpable creepy factor going on with the puppets, but whenever they’re off to the side Unstrung turns into a total snoozer. It’s a movie that struggles to keep its footing even when all of the murder and mayhem is happening; when the movie transitions to softer and quieter moments, it almost puts itself to sleep.

I’d be remiss that the movie also contains a fairly weird infatuation with Black people receiving mortal injuries. Keep in mind, this is a U.K. production and two of the most grotesque and sadistic kills in the entire film involve minority characters being butchered, maimed and mutilated at a snail’s pace despite being totally innocent people who have precious little bearing on the overall plot of the movie. Maybe it’s a wild coincidence, maybe the casting just kind of shook out that way, or maybe … well, let’s don’t jump to conclusions. Not that we don’t really, really want to in this particular case.

Of course there’s a hook for a sequel. That’s not surprising in the slightest. What is a little weird, though, is how the post-credits stinger insinuates a totally different character could be the primary villain of Pinocchio Unstrung 2. It kinda sorta makes sense in context, but it wouldn’t have been my first pick if I was the screenwriter. I guess that’s the price you pay when your artistic model is literally anchored around which popular works are about to fall into public domain status.

Pinocchio Unstrung isn’t a terrible movie. In fact, some parts are actually pretty good and the effects are impressive throughout. But at the end of the day it doesn’t feel like that much thought or effort was put into the actual story. It’s predictable, formulaic, path-of-least resistance stuff and very little of it feels genuine or authentic at all. This is nobody’s passion project, no one’s long-suffering, long-contemplated artistic vision brought to life. It’s just another exploitation horror movie coasting on a borrowed I.P. with a built-in gore-hound audience that’ll like it no matter how bland its storytelling may be.

It has a few glimmers of hope. But I’m afraid Pinocchio Unstrung is just another cheap cash-in that invests far too much into splatter effects and leaves the buckets for plot, character and atmosphere as hollow and empty as its titular character’s skull. 

GIVE IT A WATCH IF YOU LIKE: CGI gore, defilement of childhood classics, Robert Englund really pushing it as far as he can without getting sued for copyright infringement

DIRECTOR: Rhys Frake-Waterfield

WRITER: Rhys Frake-Waterfield

STARRING: Robert Englund, Richard Brake, Cameron Bell, Jessica Balmer

STUDIO: Jagged Edge Productions

DISTRIBUTOR: Altitude Film

RUNTIME: 82 minutes

LANGUAGE: English

RELEASE DATE: July 24, 2026